Missing the Baby Gear

I'm getting way too attached to the kid's baby gear.

It's not that I'm afraid I'll miss it. I'm afraid the kids will. Do they really have an attachment to these things? Or am I projecting that on them? Being too attached to 'stuff' is the opposite of what I want to instill in them, but I don't want to inadvertently rip something away from them that they feel emotional about, either. With the move coming up, a lot of things are going to change.

It's really getting hard for me to come to terms with giving up our lovely apartment, but only because of the convenience it affords. I know I'll be fine emotionally. But are the kids going to miss it? I remember growing up in two houses - and the second one was my grandparents' house before we moved there, so it was already 'home' to me. I can't imagine what it would be like to up and move to a whole new city.

On the other hand, Karol and Patrick are still very young - Karol's not even 3 yet. Will she even remember? I have no idea. And who knows how much we'll end up switching apartments in NYC, as the family (and hopefully the income) grows.

So why am I feeling this way today? Well, it doesn't help that it's a gloomy, crappy day overall, but I'm thinking about selling our double stroller. It's a monster of a stroller, and has served us very well. But now I'm looking to trade it for something smaller and more maneuverable for the city. And with Patrick walking really well already, we probably won't need a stroller for every trip in New York. Plus I don't really like the idea of having them locked up and lazing in a stroller for extended periods of time while I wheel their butts around. So I want something light-weight, easy to fold and easy to get around on skinny sidewalks.

But that means I'll need to sell ol' reliable. It's been like a second home for all the lovely long walks we take in Arlington...but am I the only person who's really getting sentimental about it?

We might go stroller test-driving at Buy Buy Baby this afternoon after work (I'll probably actually buy it used) to see what brand/model works best. I figure I'll be wearing Max for the first 6 months or so. I'm looking at the Jeep Wranglerthe Combi Twin Sportand the City Minibut who am I kidding? Should I just skip straight to the Triple Threat?

Confessions

I'm starting to feel the squeeze.

Up until now, I've (kept up appearances that I've) been able to work full-time, go to class online, rear two children under two, keep a clean house - and my sanity. And up until the past couple of weeks that's been mostly true. In just a few days, though, I've had several new projects pop up at work, to the point that they keep interrupting each other and therefore nothing gets done. I've got a book report due at the end of the week and am praying a Cliff's Notes will get published before then. The laundry is piling up and (according to Matt) the kitchen floor is sticky (although I haven't noticed, so does it really matter?). Patrick needs to be sleep trained badly. He's getting more ornery every night. I'm sure I'm malnourishing Karol in some way, because if it requires more cooking than the microwave I pretty much don't have the energy or the time.

And on top of all that, I can't remember the last time I posted pictures, let alone printed any, which means Patrick's going to have a big gap in future family photo albums where he'll probably think I sent him away to baby boarding school.

Maybe I'm not maintaining my to-do lists and that's why I can't think straight. Maybe if I could stop thinking about work at home and home at work I'd accomplish something. Maybe I need to start working out again. Maybe I need a real vacation. Maybe I need a Mother's Helper. Maybe I need uppers!

Luckily, my sister is coming to my rescue in just a few days. My hope is that she'll bring some Mary Poppins magic with her and my apartment will be clean and my children will behave perfectly at the snap of her fingers. But mostly, it will just be nice to have a companion for a change.