Contemplating Labor

I don't have anything in particular to say today, but the onset of the holiday season has slowed the pace at work quite a bit, and I've had too much time to sit and think.

Recently, I've been getting a little homesick for Karol in the middle of the day. I could walk the 2.5 blocks around the corner to go visit her, but at pregnant speed it'd take me 15 minutes to get there, plus I don't want to interrupt her busy day. So I hop on Facebook to go through my countless photos of her. As I type this I have less than 2 hours before Matt comes to pick us both up, and I can't wait.

I've also been utilizing this free time to stress out and worry about everything I can possibly think of. Since the semester is over for both Matt and I, that's no longer an issue, but I've moved on to next semester's stress already. I called the school to check on my financial aid status, my reimbursement from last semester, and of course it's all too early to tell.

Not surprisingly, I've been fretting over the snail's pace of this pregnancy, wishing like crazy it would just hurry up and get over with. When I was pregnant with Karol, I was pretty proud of the fact that I didn't really complain much, and was a highly functional worker all the way up to the due date. This time, however, every single day seems to drag, and even though a co-worker recently told me I was 'the most laid-back pregnant person' she'd ever known, I feel like I've been the total opposite.

For the most part, Matt and I have basically ignored this pregnancy until recently. Since taking care of Karol is a 24-7 task, and we're both working hard in school and work, and we both kind of feel like we've got the skills down now anyway, until Patrick really started making life difficult for me the past few weeks we haven't thought much about him, I'm kind of ashamed to say. But now he pretty much dictates our lives because he has control of the Mommy! It must be his vengeance for ignoring him.

Lucky for me, Karol is very much a daddy's girl, so he's been able to progressively take over basically the entire evening routine with her. Making dinner has been an afterthought. My appetite is next to nothing, probably because of the giant fetus crushing my stomach. Matt's appetite seems to be mirroring mine, so we generally just fix something for Karol. She's the only one who's really been eating hearty recently! Yesterday Lori said she scarfed down a ton for lunch and she still ate a lot at dinner, too, so we may be seeing a growth spurt soon (as if she wasn't growing too fast as it is).

Then, it's bath time and play time with Daddy, and eventually, usually around 8, Matt starts the bedtime routine with stories and cuddling and rocking. Matt said Karol fell asleep pretty quickly last night, out by 8:30. I wouldn't know because I was snoring on the couch long before then. Apparently Matt flipped on ESPN and joined me, because I woke up around 1 in the morning with him snuggling as best he could with the Belly. Sometimes I think I'm more comfy on the couch than I am on the bed, but both locations are practically impossible to get out of after I've been sleeping a while. The motion of going from horizontal to vertical after a few hours is really painful!

Just thinking about it now, I'm really, really grateful that Matt has so much time off between semesters right as this pregnancy is seriously wiping me out. He'll have a lot more energy than I will and relatively few distractions. Although, it is time for him to really buckle down on this internship hunt.

As for me, I'm focused completely on getting this baby out! When I found out that Patrick was measuring big, I began praying in earnest he'd come early. As far as I'm concerned, I'd be totally fine if he came anytime now, since we're past the 36 week mark. But I've been thinking about how I'm going to schedule my maternity leave, and all that staring at calendars has made me realize that even 'early' is still weeks away, and maybe I should just come to terms with having to live through the 9th month.

In the meantime, I can still pack our hospital bag and put together my hospital music list. I've been doing a lot of reading up on the actual labor--something I didn't think I'd need to do much this time around--but even though I can't really complain much about my experience birthing Karol, I'd still like to do a few things differently with Patrick. Ironically, whenever I am reading and thinking about the actual labor too much, I start to feel icky and get contractions (Braxton-Hicks, unfortunately). So I'm trying to lay off.